Today I have officially been a married woman for 1,000 days!
For the record, I had no idea this was the case until Dave told me. He’s the one who did the math.
I’ve gotta say, the past 1,000 days have been pretty darn incredible. That’s not to say that Dave and I haven’t had our disagreements, because of course we have. But overall we’ve only grown closer and more in love.
Last night I asked Dave to help me compile a short list of things we’ve learned over the past 1,000 days that have helped keep our marriage strong. Here’s what we came up with.
6 Lessons from the First 1,000 Days
1. It’s not always worth it to be right.
When Dave and I disagree about something, we try to weigh the importance of the matter. If in the end it’s more important to Dave, then I don’t put up a big fight. Example: I didn’t think Dave watching soccer on the computer was worth $40, but he really wanted it. So we spent the money.
Likewise, if it’s more important to me, then Dave usually concedes. Example: Dave wasn’t in love with the comforter I wanted for our new place, but in the end bedroom decor isn’t too high on his priority list. (We got this one, by the way! LOVE IT!)
2. But sometimes it is.
Even though what I said above is true, it’s also true that I have a major stubborn streak. So sometimes I don’t give in just for the sake of not giving in. In those times, Dave has learned to look me straight in the eye and say, “Katie, I’m telling you this because I love you: you are wrong on this one.” (Of course he says it very nicely!)
I always end up thanking him for forcing me to keep more of an open mind.
3. Being in the same room doesn’t count.
Our current apartment only has one “hang out” spot, so we spend many nights and weekends relaxing on the couch a mere five feet from one another. But just because we’re in such close proximity doesn’t mean we’re spending quality time together.
Carving out time where our focus is 100% on each other - no television, no computer, no cell phone – is so important to us.
4. Your struggles are my struggles.
Obviously, I’ve been totally open with Dave about my struggles with food/weight. Sometimes that’s made me feel like a burden to him, and yet he’s never once given me that impression. The way he describes it, we are 100% invested in each other. My struggles are his struggles and vice versa.
5. Your checking account is my checking account.
I know some couples who keep separate checking accounts even after they’re married. And it seems to work for them. But for us, joint accounts are the way to go. I’ve heard that the number one issue married people fight about is money, which makes total sense. Dave and I both feel like we’ve been able to have genuinely productive conversations about our spending and our financial goals because our wallets are totally open books.
6. Clear the air.
I Hate (with a capital H) when issues get swept under the rug. That never makes a problem disappear; it only makes it fester and get worse. Plus then everyone ends up a thousand times more upset than they were at the beginning. So Dave and I do not do a lot of rug-sweeping; instead, we do a lot of air-clearing. So much better.
Here’s to a wonderful 1,000 days! Can’t wait to see what the next 1,000 have in store for us and our marriage! ♥
What’s your #1 relationship tip?