Challenging My Fear of Hunger
Have you ever read an article, an essay, a blog post, or even a single phrase and felt like a million light bulbs immediately went off in your head? Like someone else’s particular wording or personal story suddenly made it all click for you?
(Source)
I recently had that kind of “Aha!” moment when I read Ashley‘s post on Voice in Recovery about her fear of hunger. The concept was then reinforced by Christie‘s comment on my post about hunger cues in which she stated, “hunger is not an emergency and we don’t have to respond to it as if it is.”
And suddenly it all made sense. All this time I’ve had a fear of hunger, and I hadn’t even realized it. 
Now that this fear has been brought to my attention, I’ve determined that it consists of two components, one physical and one emotional.
Physical Fear of Hunger
Perhaps this shouldn’t be called a fear, more of an extreme dread. I am the first to admit that I don’t deal well with physical discomfort of any kind. My mom proudly tells the story of how she went through childbirth with no meds whatsoever, while I joke that as soon as contractions begin I will point to my spine and tell the doctor I’m ready for my giant, pain-relieving needle. 
I blame it on growing up with a pharmacist for a father, who could recommend a pill or a gel or a spray to immediately eliminate my every ailment the moment it arose. But whatever the cause, I’m just not good at sitting with physical irritations, however minor they may be…including hunger.
Emotional Fear of Hunger
While the physical component is certainly there, I believe the emotional side of the issue is much more deep-rooted and influential. I believe I have a subconscious, almost visceral fear of hunger that stems from the many times in my past where I intensely felt the need to eat and yet did not. During my dieting days I would respond to hunger in every way except by eating.
I’d gulp a big glass of water or sip hot tea to trick my stomach into thinking it wasn’t empty; I’d throw myself into an engaging activity to distract my mind from the feeling; sometimes I’d simply relish in the fact that I felt hunger but was doing nothing about it – I actually felt pride and a sense of accomplishment because I knew it brought me one step closer to losing weight. Horrible, but true. 
So now, even though much time has passed, I’m discovering that a deep part of me is still very frightened. Trembling at the idea of returning to that misery. Scared that someday I will lose my senses and go back.
Challenging the Fear
One way I’ve been trying to challenge my fear of hunger is by allowing myself to actually feel it. Last week on my vacation, there were many times I simply had to be hungry. Sure, I packed snacks in case of a real emergency, but sometimes when you’re out with a group of people hiking and climbing and examining lizards, it simply isn’t practical to whip out a Larabar at the first twinge of hunger.
So I just felt hungry. And that was it. No drama, no theatrics. Just hunger.
In the process I discovered something that I think that my subconscious didn’t realize was the case: that I can feel hunger and be ok. I can feel hunger and still function. Indeed, I can feel hunger and even thrive.
Let me state very clearly that I am NOT saying we should all just throw caution to the wind and completely ignore our hunger pangs. Hunger has an important purpose; it tells us it’s time to EAT!
But what I am saying is that I’m realizing I don’t have to panic the very moment I feel hunger. I don’t have to plan my whole life around avoiding that feeling. No part of me has to be afraid anymore that I will once again mistreat myself, denying my physical needs. I’ve worked hard to trust my body, but now I’m ready to truly trust the rest of myself.
Have you ever experienced a similar fear of hunger? Or perhaps even a fear of fullness?
AND
How do you generally react to physical pain or discomfort? Do you have a high tolerance, or are you a big, whiny baby like I often am?
Themocracy
Super post!
I’ve spent a long, long time with an intense fear of hunger – purely cos of my ED, and my body was just so terrified I’d starve it again! But the past 2 months or so, I’ve allowed myself to feel it, and you know what? It’s OK! I CAN now get a bit peckish or hungry and the world doesn’t cave in, I don’t binge, I’m just normal! It’s brilliant
*happy dance*
I think those of us who have struggled with dieting or dieted at all have or had some fear of hunger. Were made to believe that it’s a bad thing. It’s why diets advertise ‘Never Feeling Hungry’ as a side affect like it’s this huge deal.
I have to admit though, even eating intuitively, I still have a fear of hunger. This stems from the fact that I feel like I can’t go past a certain point of hunger because we are taught that when we do that, our signals are out of whack which can cause us to overeat. I know that isn’t a rule and that if we are honing in we will be fine, but being in that starving hunger state really does make it so easy to over eat and I do struggle with fear of that.
Want to know what I would say to that?
That your body will make it up if you overeat by just getting hungry later than normal. Overeating from time to time isn’t the problem. The problem is habitually overeating.
I agree. I don’t think I’m comfortable enough yet to actually trust this all the time even though I know it’s right. Believe me, I’m working on it.
When I was hardcore dieting, I would almost always binge after getting to that intense hunger. I feel like it’s still ingrained in me sometimes so when I to that point now in my life, it’s a bit intimidating and hard to keep control because it’s such a familiar habit. One I am working on breaking.
It’s a process, but you’ll get there! I also struggled to trust that my body would balance everything out, but I eventually grew more comfortable once I actually saw/felt it happening.
I love the line “I don’t have to plan my whole life around avoiding that feeling.” I’m always doing that by packing a ton of snacks or even worse, preemptively eating a piece of fruit before I leave for somewhere so that I’m not hungry later. I’m not really sure what I think will happen if I am hungry and have no food immediately at hand. But for some reason, I just know that I don’t want to be hungry. I definitely have to give this more thought.
I agree, excellent post. Hunger is scary for me and I start to panic. I add drama to it the mix and then this causes me to binge. My therapist said I need to calm myself down and not think I am going to die because I am so hungry. So what I have been doing is trying to calm myself down and say “Yes, I am hunger.” No more and no less (before I would say things like I want to gnaw my arm off!!). Anyway, I then decide what I want to eat and eat just that and make sure that it satisifies me. Has it worked? Yes most times for me it has.
There’s nothing unnatural about fearing hunger. I think any mammal that has experienced a period of starvation (nature- OR self-imposed) will learn to fear hunger or even the prospect of it. Yesterday, due to various surprises, I wasn’t able to eat lunch until 2pm. I ate a normal meal and tried to get back into routine, but the damage was done–I was ravenous for the rest of the day. I didn’t go /too/ overboard and stuck to healthy options, but I just couldn’t shake the feeling of “starvation” even though I was surrounded by food.
I’m learning to face the fear, but I don’t expect it to vanish magically. You wouldn’t expect the child of abusive parents to suddenly morph into an outgoing, assertive person just because they apologize and try to be loving instead, so I shouldn’t expect my body to morph into a contented one overnight.
Katie- Sometimes your posts scare me because I feel like I could have written them lol. I too am not a fan of discomfort or pain. Interestingly, when I have major pain (like after I had stomach surgery) I am much braver than when I have a paper cut lol. Go figure.
As for hunger, I too fear hunger. I get almost shaky and nervous. I tend to react to the first twinge of hunger and eat something, which isn’t always necessary. Great post- it gives me some stuff to think about!
I can relate to every word of this! Especially what you said about feeling accomplished when you felt hunger. That’s exactly what I did last year – I challenged myself to see how long I could last without eating.
Now I’m scared of ever getting that feeling again, so I always eat at the first signs of hunger! Sometimes I’ll even snack when I’m not feeling hungry now. I still haven’t really got the hang of this whole intuitive eating thing.
I love your posts and that they’re back.
I know I used to almost have pride in feeling hunger too. Now, I don’t like feeling it but it doesnt bother me. I would say the only way I may fear hunger is when it comes much sooner than anticipated or on days where I’m always hungry. It makes me question myself.
Wow, great post! I am known for bringing snacks everywhere I go. I may not even eat them, but just having them there helps me calm down — because like you said, I panic when I think about missing a meal time or needing a snack.
I also really related to your thought about not being good with physical irritations, because that’s exactly how I am. I’m trying to work on myself though (I don’t want to be the annoying one in the group who’s always hot/cold/hungry/sore) by trying to pay more attention to living in the moment, enjoying and becoming immersed in what I’m doing…but it’s tough!
Most days I have to feel hunger since I work where we have alternating lunches. If I get hungry and someone else takes their lunch first, I have to wait 30 minutes. I think it’s good, though. I get to feel it and know that I AM hungry and not just craving food.
I feared hunger too and because of this I dont think I felt truly hungry for over a year. I would always eat before just in case because I never wanted to feel that hunger.
Now, I like to let myself get hungry before I eat. It feels good to eat when actually hungry. But, sometimes its still hard to wait.
Super blog!!! I have days where I work from home and I snack most of the day because I think I am hungry. Other days when I am out and about, I get so busy I don’t realize I am hungry. Sometimes I forget to eat and skip the meal all together. Which sometimes causes me to over eat later. If I am hungry, and know it, I can be a big whiny baby too! I am a work in progress.
I really identify with this post. Many times I’ll eat to avoid getting hungry later, because I think I won’t be able to eat when I DO get hungry. It’s really silly. I mean – why don’t I pack a snack and if it gets really bad, eat it? It doesn’t make sense!
There are so many times where I read a single blog post or entry and it causes a lightbulb!
I am the opposite in this case, I HATE/FEAR feeling full, even a little. I actually like feeling hungry, it makes me feel safer in some distorted way. I will go out of my way to avoid feeling full, like I would rather eat a tiny high-calorie portion than a huuuuge plate of something low-calorie but filling. This is a big problem for me that I am continually working on because my body obviously breaks down at some point and wants to be satisfied.
Oh, forgot to add….I also deal HORRIBLY with any uncomfortable sensation, I will just panic about it – from constipation to a cold to being full.
Wow. I could have written this post word for word. I just kept nodding and saying ‘yes’ as I read it. This is something I’ve discovered this past year. I can’t remember which author it was that said it, perhaps Geneen Roth, but I recall reading a statement along the lines of ‘sit with your hunger, feel it, it’s just hunger, it has no power’ and I immediately beat that down with ‘well I need to eat the moment I’m hungry or I go CRAZY’ and when I really examined that I realised it was not true. I said it like it was a truth, I believed it, but it wasn’t the actual truth of my body.
So I started to allow myself to get a bit hungry, to actually get a stomach grumble and to learn to not let it PANIC me.
Now I know I can comfortably sit with mild-moderate hunger for a while. It’s actually almost enjoyable sometimes because I really know I’m hungry and going to enjoy my upcoming meal as opposed to eating to just stave off hunger.
I do try to avoid the shaky ravenous state though because by that point I find it hard to slow down and even enjoy a meal.
I STILL plan ahead to avoid the feeling of hunger! My bag always is stocked with some kind of bar and a bag of nuts, *just in case.* I have low blood sugar, so it’s important that I’m able to grab something if I begin to feel lightheaded. However, I think the real issue for me is that I continue to distrust that I will be able to find something “safe” to eat if I don’t carry a stash of munchies with me. I could avoid lugging around food if I allowed myself to grab something from a store or restaurant while I’m out, if needed.
Like you, I have horrible memories of denying my hunger cues. I feel guilty if my stomach grumbles, as though I haven’t planned properly! But you’re so right, this is a natural, normal feeling! As long as we nourish ourselves when we have the chance, our bodies adapt, adjust, and are just fine.
my hubby always says hunger is not an emergency…and it’s so true. even though it sucks to hear sometimes, it’s a great reminder that puts things in perspective for me!
What a great post! I *do* think I have experienced something like this, but not in the same way. Sometimes, if feel overly hungry (Like I didn’t have time to eat breakfast or something) I get this really empty feeling in my stomach, and I get the urge to eat the closest thing in sight, and usually whatever is going to fill me up, and FAST. Like I’m afraid I’m never going to eat again, and I’m so uncomfortable with being that hungry. Usually when that feeling hits me, I’m headed for the nearest BK or Taco Bell. It’s weird, and I can’t quite explain it, but I do in a way know what you’re talking about.
That said, don’t you love lightbulb posts?
You bring up some very interesting points! Great post!
Sometimes I like to feel hunger so I can really identify what it is that I / my body wants to eat.
Thanks for the link, I actually just discussed the “saving up calories” issue in a recent post as well, seems like it’s a common theme. It’s kind of ironic that because my fear of my fear of being hungry in the second half of the day, I keep myself hungry and ill-feeling in the first half of the day…not much gained in that trade-off, is there? Sort of like someone who has money anxiety, they’re afraid of being broke so they squirrel everything away and live very austerely, as if that’s not what their anxiety tells them they’re working to prevent. (Not that being over-miserly with money is a common problem, just an analogy!). Anyway, thanks for the great insights, as always!
That’s an interesting comparison!
I love that comparison as well! I think that when people tend to fear their own impulses, be they related to hunger, spending, sexuality, etc., they very often develop anxiety and then subsequent restriction. It’s really all connected. As I have become more comfortable with hunger and food, I’ve noticed I’ve become more comfortable with money worries and other issues as well.
It really is all connected! I didn’t realize that dealing with my food issues head-on would provide so much relief and insight into so many other areas of my life.
Fantastic post, Katie! I’m definitely a moody mess if I don’t eat.
And everyone knows it.
My fear of hunger stems partially from the fact that when I’m hungry, I tend to feel dizzy and out of it, and I get nervous thinking that I might faint. I hate feeling that uncomfortable.
I also don’t like to get too hungry because I don’t want to overeat. It just throws my eating off, and my energy levels.
I’m like Mary Poppins with snacks. I always keep power bars, water, nuts or candy in my bag because I don’t want to be hungry and be somewhere where I can’t get food.
But you’re right in that there’s no reason to fear hunger, and it’s an important reminder!!
I struggle more with letting myself even get to the point of hunger. My urges to eat are so much stronger when I’m NOT hungry than when I am for some reason. I think it’s because I when my emotions are level, I have no problem avoiding emotional eating. So I allow myself to get hungry, I think “Oh, guess I’ll eat something then.” When I’m stressed or bored or something, then I eat and never get hungry.
I really relate to this post. For years I panicked at the 1st sign of hunger for a number of reasons. I do not function well when I’m hungry – stems from years of disordered eating, restricting and the recovery process where I had to learn to pay attention to hunger cues without attaching emotion. Yikes it was hard – it still is at times. There was a fine line in recovery between being prepared with healthy food choices & snacks (while I was putting on weight) and obsessing over a fear of being hungry. I’ve changed the way I think about hunger now and it isn’t a scary word anymore. I use it everyday to express many emotions and feelings in my life. Again, it’s not always easy for me.
I absolutely love the way you use the word “hunger.”
I do not like feeling hungry, either! In fact, I would much rather be too full than hungry at all. And I think that stems from a situation very similar to yours- I used to deprive myself, beat myself down, not feel worthy unless I felt that hunger..and I never want to go back there again.
Great post. Gave me a big dose of healthy perspective:-).
I’ve thought about it a lot. I think being “prepared” is great, but I think for me, at times, it leads me to not eat intuitively. Great post, Katie!
Oh yes Katie! You described me in a nutshell.
When I was on Weight Watchers I was either stuffed or starving. I would drink water or tea, eat large amounts of 0 point vegetables, try to distract myself, or just sit and pretend that being hungry would result in a larger number lost on the scale. What happened was I would binge and end up stuffed. So to me hunger = binge. When I started IE I would keep myself (and to be honest, still do) in a constant state of full because I was afraid of being hungry.
I’m slowly learning hunger is ok. There are many stages to hunger so when I feel the first pang, that doesn’t mean I need to feed myself. I can wait and be aware of what my body wants.
I’ve never had fear on feeling hunger… actually i’m just the opposite now, I’m worried when I don’t get hungry often. There are few things in life that are as satisfying as eating a good meal after feeling hungry. Our daily routine makes us to eat at certain time instead of eating when we’re hungry. When I go on vacation… I’d do intuitive eating… eat only when I am hungry and everything tastes better and food is more enjoyable.
Oh my goodness, Katie! I’m so excited that my post could bring you an “aha!” moment. I feel so honored
I think this idea of the fear of hunger is so rampant yet unrecognized. I’m so glad that you discussed your own fears here so that we all can start recognize how our unhealthy thoughts and behaviors are often linked to this fear. As I think I said in my post (though I forget now), just experiencing hunger and realizing that you will not shrivel up and die (physically or emotionally) is the only way to get through it. Your hiking example was a great one!
I can totally relate to the feeling of fearing hunger, and to the feeling of being PROUD of being hungry. They are such complicated mindframes to try to put into words…you did a great job. Sad, isn’t it, that we would do that to ourselves?
I can’t say that I ‘like’ discomfort, but I will take almost any kind of pain over medication. Something about covering up pain just seems very wrong to me. Childbirth wasn’t even enough for me to take a pain reliever, before, during or after. I just prefer to feel the pain because I think it tells you a lot about what is happening to your body. I can’t say I’d never choose medication, but I would always opt for no meds if possible.
Oh gosh, I still have a fear of hunger. That is proven by my bag packed to the brim of meals and snacks for school each day. AND, I always have granola bars and crackers in my closet at school. I will never go hungry there, that’s for sure. The biggest problem for me is right before dinner – waiting on Andrew to finish cooking the meal. I get cranky and hungry and he gets annoyed that I’m rushing him along (understandably). I really need to remind myself that hunger isn’t an emergency!!
Oh yeah, I definitely have a fear of hunger… that’s what inspired my post on food anxiety earlier in the week. I’m anxious that I won’t have enough… and then I’ll be a cranky baby if I don’t eat
You do not want to be around me when I’m hungry. Trust me. 
“Have you ever read an article, an essay, a blog post, or even a single phrase and felt like a million light bulbs immediately went off in your head? Like someone else’s particular wording or personal story suddenly made it all click for you?” Yep…your post just did this for me! And Ashley and Christie’s posts as well. Thank you so much for sharing their words and yours with your readers.
I’ve always alternated between relishing hunger pangs (a.k.a. pains) as something to bravely suffer through, because it was “good for me”–as if it was a badge of honor if I could drink water or go for a walk or do anything BUT what my body was asking me to do–and doing the opposite, appeasing the hunger immediately, at the very first signs, or even preemptively, to the point of eating more than my body needed/wanted me to, just to avoid that dreaded hungry feeling.
I’ve never thought about it in terms of a phobia before, or really taken the time to think about the underlying causes of those actions and mindsets, but I certainly will now. Thanks!
This is *such* an important post. For the longest time I thought that feeling hungry was one of the most unhealthy things I could do. We hear time after time to “eat 6 times a day so you’re not hungry!” or “eat a snack before going out to dinner so that you’re not hungry!”
It was my mom – my healthiest role model (not in the sense of what she eats but her relationship with food) – who told me “Gracie, you know it’s *okay* to feel hungry, right?” That simple response made a light bulb go off in my head. While I still sort of freak out when my stomach growls, I’m getting better at accepting hunger as a normal and *natural* sensation.
This is such a great post Katie. And something I can definitely relate to. I don’t think I have a fear of hunger, but rather an extreme dread of it (like you said). Part of this is because I get really awful (sometimes debilitating) stomachaches if I don’t eat. I’m not sure why this is, and it doesn’t happen every time, but that fact is always there in the back of my mind…and causes me to sometimes over-compensate. I have really had to focus on accepting that hunger is normal, and that I need to learn to listen to my body’s cues.
I recognize that lizard!
[...] wrote an amazing post about the fear of hunger, something that as humans, we often struggle with. If you have a fear of being hungry, this post is [...]
[...] Cafe just crossing the street (so good to be living in a city ;)). Worked there until 6 PM when hunger kicked in so I went to WF (a block away) to pick something to [...]
[...] had a really great post on being scared of hunger. Felt like the words could have come right out of my [...]
I love the quote about hunger not being an emergency. That’s a lesson I am trying to teach myself. The problem is that I also get low blood sugar if it’s been too long between meals. I get cranky, dizzy and shaky.
It is interesting to think of what might be my bigger fear – that of hunger or that of fullness. I certainly fear hunger, and like many posters am always (overly) prepared with snacks and plans for when & where to eat, ‘just in case.’
But on the other hand, I dread fullness just as much, if not more. I dread the physical feeling, that of a bowling ball sitting in the stomach… But what that physical feeling brings up emotionally is even scarier: that I’ve overdone it yet again, been ‘too much’, taken up too much room, eaten more than my share’, etc, etc. It is easy in the moment to chastise myself for being far too willing and able to ‘fill myself up’, for that signifies selfishness, egotism, etc.
The road toward being able to truly nourish ourselves, to believe that we can be and deserve to be nourished, is a long and rocky one. Thanks for bringing up a great topic and encouraging conversation!
Wow, this is such an incredibly insightful comment. I am so glad you shared!
I agree, very insightful.