Minutes Not Miles
I’m one of those people who has a really hard time giving myself a break.
Somewhere along the road I developed an unfortunate habit of demanding perfection from myself, and then considering it unacceptable when that perfection was not attained.
Not surprisingly, this attitude has led to some unnecessary (and sometimes ridiculous!) disappointments: frustration at receiving a 97% on an exam (why didn’t I get 100%???), annoyance with myself when I’m five minutes late for meeting a friend for lunch (I should have been five minutes early!!!), things like that. I know, I know…I’m rolling my eyes at myself right now too! 
That little voice inside that demands perfection also encourages an unhealthy amount of self-competition. And in all of my prior flings with running and road races, it was that overly competitive spirit that forced us to break up in the end. For some people, competing with themselves is invigorating; for me, it’s utterly draining.
Here’s an example. Let’s say, years ago, I went for a 4-mile jog on a sunny, calm afternoon and completed the workout in 36 minutes. I felt strong and energetic the entire time, and the 4 miles were a total breeze. Two days later, I headed out on the exact same loop, but on this particular day the wind was blowing against me, my muscles were a tad sore, and overall I felt pretty sluggish. I looked down at my watch and realized I was on pace to run the 4 miles in 40 minutes. At that point my inner dialogue went a bit like this:
Perfectionist Katie: Pick it up, slow poke!
Realistic Katie: I don’t know if I can, I’m tired and sore and this wind is a killer!
Perfectionist Katie: Stop making excuses! You have to push yourself.
Realistic Katie: But if I do, I’ll feel miserable!
Perfectionist Katie: No pain, no gain, sweetheart! If you could do it two days ago, you can do it today. In fact, I think you should try to finish in 35 minutes.
Realistic Katie: Ugh! Alright, here I go. 
And so I went. Sore muscles, poor weather conditions, cramps, lactic acid – in my mind, these were never valid reasons not to outdo myself each and every workout. If it sounds exhausting, that’s because it was. No wonder I soon ended up on the couch, with no desire to exercise at all.
(Source)
When I decided to start running again, I vowed that this time would be different. This time I would listen to my body and be flexible in the face of various conditions and circumstances. This time I would be my own ally, rather than my own opponent.
It is for this reason that in my current training program for the upcoming 5-mile race, my workouts are based on minutes instead of miles. For example, my spreadsheet never says the run for the day is 3 miles; it says 30 minutes. Depending on how I’m feeling that day, I might run a little more than 3 miles, or a little less. To me, at this point, it doesn’t matter. I honestly don’t even pay attention to mileage, out of fear of re-kindling that competitive spark.
I realize that, while this method is fine for shorter distances, if I ever decide to train for a longer race I will need to make sure I’m hitting a certain number of miles per run and per week. And I think someday that will be doable; someday Perfectionist Katie will be suppressed enough that each workout need not be a competition with myself. But for this race – the first one I’m technically “training” for – I’ve decided to play it safe.
Come February 6 we’ll see how this method of minutes over miles worked for me physically. But I know it’s already working for me mentally and emotionally.
When it comes to exercise, are you a perfectionist? Do you compete with yourself? Do you find self-competition motivating or discouraging?
Themocracy
Good grief…reading this I could only think, “Yep, this is me”. I can totally relate and have wound up in the same place…overwhelmed and exhausted. Good for you to recognize and make progress to fix. I too have had to really monitor myself with this. It is draining and takes all of the “fun” out of exercise.
Love your blog!
Glad you’re enjoying the blog! And it’s good to know that others struggle in the same ways I do.
I’m gonna pretend you wrote this for me.
<3
My My Katie ,I’d like to say it gets easier as you age.I beat myself up daily if I don’t do everything just so.What I expect of me is NOT what I expect of others. But exercising is totally different! I like group fitness classes,feeding off the energy of everyone around me and the music,spin is the ultimte to me. It’s you against the pack.My husband makes me laugh and not be so uptight.Ask your Mom about my thing w/rotation,and color coding Hershey Kisses!!!LOVE your Blog.It’s my daily pick me up!!!
My mom has told me about the rotation thing before!!!
And I totally get what you’re saying about group fitness classes…there is a certain energy in the room that you just can’t find anywhere else! Especially with the right instructor.